Me for Me.

So I just returned home on Saturday and I miss New York so much.

Here is what i learned:
I'm proud to be gay. I am proud of the person I am. I didn't think that I would learn that on my religious leadership retreat. If anything, I was worried they would try to convert my ways or something. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time and I got a lot out of it. I wasn't there to change who I am. I am not a different person. I am a BETTER person. I realized that I am open to Christ and feel like a good moral person now. I also realized that God accepts me for who I am. He created me why would he discriminate against me. Im proud to be me, and He's proud of me.
Before going into confession on the retreat I was afraid to go in because I was afraid that God wouldn't accept me.
Someone told me, "Oh Kaleb, I use to be an alcoholic, and after last year's service I am changed."
In response I told her, "Its not the same, I'm gay."
Its not something I do, it is who I am. It is a part of me, not just an action.

I am proud of who i am, and i can't believe I learned it on this retreat.

When I finally had this realization, I knew that it was time to clear the air with Danielle, "the girl". I finally figured out why it was so hard for the tension to go away and why I neglected our friendship. I know that I am gay, yet I still having feelings for a girl. A GIRL. Every time I looked at her, in my head I was not only thinking about her, but also about the guy I last kissed. I felt so guilty. The only way I knew how not to lead her on and not get caught up in the feelings was to stop it completely. Don't think of it as a girl who likes a boy who likes a boy. Just think of an ex-relationship. We still having feelings for each other yet we know that it won't work. I've never dealt with something so difficult. I love her, but like i said, I am proud of who i am.

All in all, I feel great about myself. I finally feel like I know which Kaleb I am. I know how to answer my survey now. And honestly I have to thank God for that.
Thank you God for letting me open up to you
Thanks.